Letting Go
by MadCapSciFiWriter
Summary: Challenge fic...Teyla sings John a song...


**I own nothing! Darn it!**

**Okay this idea came from a challenge I read at the JohnTeyla LJ…having to do with Teyla singing Sheppard a song…**

**This is what happens when I listen to Teyla's song 'Beyond the Night' as I type…**

**Some spoilers for 'Critical Mass' and some references to 'Epiphany'**

**Okay…that's about it…let's begin…**

_**Letting Go**_

"Well we have been in better circumstances, haven't we?" John started coughing, undercutting his attempt at a joke as blood appeared at the corner of his mouth.

"John…John" Teyla's voice concealed nothing, her voice betraying the panic that started to rise within her at the sight of the bright red color.

"I'm fine…just a…." John started coughing again and Teyla reached down and with the corner of the sleeve of her jacket and wiped away the blood that appeared.

As John closed his eyes and fell into a fitful rest Teyla looked around at the surroundings of their confinement.

She sat on the cold, hard floor of their cell, John's head resting in her lap.

She leaned her head back against the jagged, rock surface of the wall behind her and thought of the events that had led them to where they were.

They had been scouting out the newest address Dr. McKay had found in the Ancient database and had come to this planet through the Stargate hoping to find the Ancient outpost that had been mentioned but in the thousands of years since the Ancients had once lived on this world it had become home to a new group of people, ones who had not taken favorably to the visiting of their world.

No sooner had they made it a few feet away from the Stargate, they were attacked, shots coming in from the bushes lying off in the short distance from their position.

There was no place to take cover. Col. Sheppard had ordered them back to the gate and to dial Atlantis but before he could finish his orders he was hit several times, knocking him off his feet.

Ronon tried to go after him but he was only one man and could not see his enemy and was driven backwards as he tried to fire off shots in the general direction of their enemy's position but in the end he too was hit.

But his stand had given Teyla the chance to crawl closer to John and where he lay on the ground. He had ordered her to the gate, even as she tried to put pressure on his wounds. But she had refused to leave his side instead yelling at Dr. McKay to get Ronon through the gate.

Dr. McKay had established a connection and successfully radioed Atlantis and was close enough to help Ronon through but no sooner had they gone through the event horizon that the men attacking them had come out from where they were hidden and surrounded them both, cutting off any chance for their escape.

They had been brought to a primitive settlement, Teyla supporting Sheppard as blood loss made him weak and unsteady on his feet.

In the distance, not far from where they were roughly placed into a caged area, sidled up next to a mountain, Teyla could see the top of a tower.

The Atlantean outpost they had come searching for, a revered place Teyla soon found out. The people of this world worshipped the Ancestors and treated the outpost as a temple and shrine to their Gods. Trespassers to this sacred home, chosen by the Gods, were dealt with severely to preserve the secrecy of the Ancestors' home.

The people, the Alcaren's as they called themselves guarded this place, believing that their Gods would one day return and grant gifts to their faithful servants.

They allowed no one to come through the gate, safe guarding their secret so no one would desecrate the temple of the Gods.

The only reason Teyla still lived along with Col. Sheppard was the fact that two of their team had escaped and it was thought that they could be used to lure the others back and capture them as well as once again their temple would be safe.

But keeping them alive did not mean making them comfortable or giving them medical attention.

Teyla brushed her hand over John's face, wishing she could smooth the lines of pain away from his brow. Even in the blessed oblivion of sleep, he could not escape the pain… or the fact that he was dying.

Teyla looked at the makeshift bandages she had wrapped around John's chest in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding from draining away his life…

… but she knew in her heart that he was slipping away from her…while she watched…helpless.

Frustration…anger…desperation…the emotions welled up inside her…helpless…useless…she was powerless…to save the one she loved.

Her vision blurred, John's features becoming lost in the tears that she fought to keep inside. She must stay strong…she would be strong for both of them…no matter what.

A hand softly brushed her cheek, wiping away a tear she hadn't even known has escaped.

"Don't…cry."

Teyla gave a slight jump before rushing to compose herself, "I am fine…you should not speak…rest…the others will come…you have to be strong…"

John gave her a soft grin, "No Teyla…I'm not going to make it much longer…and we both know it…"

Teyla grew angry…angry at the world…their captors…herself for not protecting John…for…for…

…for being glad John had chosen to stay with her and not ascend when Teer had offered him the chance…

The unexpected thought crashed over Teyla causing her breath to catch in her chest…

Silence descended between them…Teyla contemplating her own inner regrets…John feeling his life ebb away.

"You should have ascended" her voice came quietly, almost nonexistent but John heard her nonetheless.

John frowned at her words…"Wha..?"

"You would have had a chance to experience life as others can only dream…you would still be…you would not be here dying in my arms…slipping away from me…" Teyla's voice caught in her throat.

"Teyla…" John tried to reach up and touch her cheek but he was too weak and his arm fell to his side. Teyla grasped his cold hand in her own, bringing it up to cradle against her face.

"I couldn't leave you then Teyla…I don't want to leave you now…I want to stay with you…always…" A fit of coughing interrupted John, violently causing his body to spasm, leaving Teyla to watch and try to hold on to him…

Tears welled up in her eyes as she bent down and placed her forehead against John's trying to absorb the shaking of his body… "You will never leave me…you are a part of me…you taught me to live life again…to not just survive but to live…and now…I will do the same for you…"

Teyla straightened and looked down at John, lying silently before her, the slight moving of his chest the only sign that he was still with her…

Teyla did the only thing she could think to do…she began to sing…a song of the Ancestors…taught to her by her mother…a song that had been passed down generation to generation…a song of life renewed…and new beginnings…

_Beyond the night, a rising sun…_

_Beyond the night, the battle's won…_

_The battle is won._

The pain etched into John's forehead loosened, Teyla's voice taking him away…away from the pain…away from death….

_Fear and shame now in the past…_

_Pain and sorrow gone at last…_

_Gone at last._

Regret…worry…John's mind seemed to clear of thoughts…the sound of Teyla's song filling his soul…

_Circle renewed, peace will be found…_

_Beyond the night on sacred ground._

A feeling of peace washed over John…making him feel light…weightless…free…letting him go…

_River flows led by the wind…_

_First new breath, out journey begins…_

John's body started to glow…light encompassing him, shattering the dark. Teyla watched on as she felt the hand she clasped in her own start to fade away…

The light seemed to rise, glowing brighter and then disappear in an instant...leaving Teyla alone…clutching all that was left of John…a jacket that she held close to her.

…_Your journey begins…_

The words were whispered softly…and Teyla gave a slight smile even as a tear slipped from her eye and down her cheek to soak into the folds of John's jacket. _"I love you…I always did...I always will." _

**The Stargate would soon burst to life and a military team from Atlantis would come surging through intent upon finding their people but all they would see would be Teyla… walking towards them, holding something to her chest.**

**She had been released soon after John had ascended…the bright light had attracted their captors and upon seeing the 'heavenly light' of the Ancestors they had feared their continued holding of Teyla would anger their Gods so had quickly released her...**

**Teyla would return to Atlantis…to a worried Elizabeth…a frantic Rodney…an angry Ronon…and tell them that John would not be coming home…he had let go…and now belonged somewhere else…**

**THE END**

**Lyrics for 'Beyond the Night' was from the song Teyla sang in the episode 'Critical Mass' of SG:ATLANTIS.**

**The mentioning of Shep ascending was a reference to the episode 'Epiphany'**


End file.
